Do violence reform programs work, or just ‘tick a box’?

When Erin’s teenage son accused his stepfather of grabbing him around the throat, her life “completely shattered”.

“I didn’t witness it,” she says. “I only heard the yelling back and forth.

“My husband denies it…but usually with these things, the truth lies somewhere in the middle.”

The NSW woman, whose name has been changed to protect her identity, has spent the past two years navigating apprehended domestic violence orders (ADVOs), the Department of Communities and Justice (DCJ) and the Family Court.

“It put a massive wedge within my family,” she says. “I was losing two relationships at once and struggling with my own mental health as a result.”

As her family fractured, DCJ recommended Erin’s husband complete a Men’s Behaviour Change Program (MBCP). Designed for men who use abusive behaviour in intimate and family relationships, MBCPs seek to hold participants accountable for their actions and reduce the risk of further violence.

But Erin’s husband entered the program denying the allegation that brought him there.

His mindset was that it was a waste of time, ridiculous.

Erin, mum whose son was allegedly assaulted by her husband

“He said to me, ‘I don’t belong here, I shouldn’t have to be doing this,’” Erin adds.

“He thought that the men that do these programs are always excessively violent, wife-basher type of guys.

“His mindset was that it was a waste of time, ridiculous, just a tick box for the court.”

Erin encouraged her husband to approach the program as an opportunity to improve his relationships and communications. Instead, she says he refused to take it seriously.

“I think for these programs to really work, men need to go into them with a mindset of intending to improve,” she says. “Otherwise, there won’t be any real changes.”

A national Rapid Review of Prevention Approaches found MBCPs are a key part of Australia’s strategy to prevent violence against women and children.

However, it also identified gaps in their evidence base and quality.

 

Debbra Sanders, case manager and Men’s Behaviour Change Program Facilitator at CatholicCare Fairfield, says the success of MBCPs depends on participants taking accountability for their behaviour.

After 17 years facilitating behaviour change programs in community and correctional centres, she believes resistance can mask “an enormous amount of shame”.

“The program forces men to confront their deepest and darkest secrets that they’ve probably never even shared with anyone,” she says. “It’s a very vulnerable space.”

CatholicCare’s Choosing Change program begins by educating participants about forms of domestic violence including physical, sexual, emotional, spiritual and financial abuse. Across 18 weekly group sessions, participants discuss topics such as emotional regulation, denial and blame, coercive control, gender expectations and parenting.

“We aim to encourage men to acknowledge the impact of their behaviours on their partners and children,” she says. “It’s about listening to and valuing their family’s experiences rather than minimising or dismissing them.”

One Victorian man who completed an MBCP told Central News he entered the program voluntarily while navigating Family Court proceedings.

The man, who we’ll call Daniel*, denies allegations he was abusive towards his former wife and children.

Despite this, he says the 12-week program encouraged him to examine aspects of his own behaviour that could be perceived as controlling.

“You learn things as you go through the program,” he says.

Daniel says discussing his emotions and coping strategies with a facilitator was helpful. However, he does not believe that MBCPs can address every factor contributing to abusive behaviour.

“If you’re struggling psychologically and you attend a men’s behaviour change group, you can learn what’s wrong and how to improve your behaviour,” he says.

“But it doesn’t stop you from being violent or psychologically unwell.”

I’ve had men attempt to justify their abuse because they were raised with the belief that women should cook, clean and look after the children.

Debbra Sanders, CatholicCare case manager

Daniel believes counselling and psychological support may also be necessary, adding: “The program’s not the only thing you should do.”

Sanders says men educated in the programme are often surprised to learn that domestic violence can extend beyond physical aggression.

“I’ve worked with men who are so significantly dangerous, yet have never raised their voice or physically abused their partner,” she adds.

Sanders says coercive control, a pattern of abusive behaviour used to intimidate victim-survivors and restrict their autonomy, which can include isolation from friends and family, monitoring their location, restricting finances and threatening violence or suicide, can be disguised as care, concern or protection.

“On paper, one woman’s husband of 30 years looked like a good guy,” she says. “But it was his intention to fool everybody around her, to have everyone think that she’s crazy.

“Coercive control makes victim-survivors question their own sanity. It chips away at their soul.”

Sanders says a central part of MBCPs involves asking participants to examine where their beliefs about relationships, control and violence come from.

“It’s common for men to realise that they were witnesses or victims of family violence in their own childhoods,” she says.

“I’ve had men attempt to justify their abuse because they were raised with the belief that women should cook, clean and look after the children while they are the sole breadwinner.”

She believes MBCPs can help challenge such attitudes but that greater investment in perpetrator intervention and ongoing support is needed to create lasting change.

“Programs are most effective when participants are supported by a range of services like counselling, psychology and men’s groups,” she says. “More needs to be done to prevent the murder of one woman every 11 days in Australia.”

Family and Commercial Litigation Lawyer Lamia Daher has represented clients who completed MBCPs before family law proceedings involving children and property. She says completing a program can demonstrate a commitment to addressing harmful behaviour.

“Courts may look favourably on men who show initiative and a willingness to improve their relationships with their families,” she says.

However, Daher says it can be difficult to determine whether participation reflects a genuine desire to change, adding: “I’m sure there are men who complete these programs solely to see their children or to convince the court that they are trying to change, without necessarily confronting their abusive behaviour.”

Similarly, research suggests completing a program does not necessarily mean behavioural change has occurred.

A review by Australia’s National Research Organisation for Women’s Safety (ANROWS) found MBCP completion is generally a measure of attendance rather than a direct measure of behaviour change.

Daher tells Central News family law proceedings are not a “one-size-fits-all approach”. She says the weight given to completing an MBCP depends on the circumstances of each case.

“The court also considers evidence of domestic violence, parenting capacity, the views of children and submissions from psychologists and independent children’s lawyers,” she adds.

For Erin, the allegation against her husband did not result in an assault charge due to insufficient evidence. But she says moving forward has not been easy.

“It’s just frustrating that I might never know the real story, especially when my family’s safety is concerned,” she adds. “No one wins in these situations.”

And, while she believes MBCPs can be effective for men who are willing to change, Erin thinks genuine change is “rare”.

“You’re asking for an internal change based on an external program,” she says. “Will it really work if it’s not something that men are driving themselves?”

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